A Blessing and a Curse

The black screen sat in the corner all day ... silent, blank, cold. At times , it seemed to call out quietly, "Just come over here ... I've got the answer to your loneliness!"

You're thinking, "What is she talking about? Has all the snow finally driven her over the deep end?"

While that may be true, here's what I'm talking about. Yesterday, was our church's annual day of prayer and fasting. The whole church family takes the day to focus on our relationships with God, both individually and communally. Since I'm nursing Benjamin I couldn't fast from food, so I decided to fast from the internet ... golly, was the day insightful.

I didn't realize that the first thing I do when I come downstairs in the morning is turn on the computer. I didn't realize how often I open our internet browser in a day ... or just stay logged into my email constantly (an old habit from office work I guess). Throughout the day, I'm checking email, Facebook, blogs, writing here, and googling countless things from weather to recipes to "When will my baby's eyes change color?" (Answer: anywhere from 6 mo. to 2 years)

And this has been great for me, since moving so far away from loved ones. This quick and easy connection. We skype with grandparents, email with friends across the country, and share photos of our babies on Facebook.

What a blessing!

And yet...

Is it also a curse? That instant connection can be so easy, rather than doing the harder work of slowing down to connect with God. At times, the connection can even be deceiving, as I read the blogs of other moms whom I don't even know "in real life." The wealth of information available at my fingertips ... if i have a question, I google it... what's the best diaper rash cream? what's going on in Haiti? how much does it cost to spend the weekend in NYC? What about Kate Gosselin's new hairstyle? But with all that information running around in my brain, am I crowding out the more important things, like praying throughout my day or meditating on Scripture?

Sometimes, the answer is sadly yes!

So, I am grateful for this gift, incredibly grateful, for long-distance connections, but right now, I am making a resolution to STOP, and connect with my Heavenly Father, before I look to others to fill that void.

"I rejoice at your word like one who finds great spoil.
Seven times a day I praise you for your righteous judgments.
Great peace have those who love your law; nothing can make them stumble.
I have for your salvation, O Lord, and I obey your commandments."
Ps. 119:162, 164-6