Rough Week, Great Saturday

Last week was just a little tough around here ... i think the damp, chilly, gray days had something to do with it, but also Benjamin has been miserable teething, which resulted in eating issues and sleep issues.  So then Will had issues with getting school and work done (the lack of sleep), and I had can-I-just-please-take-the-day-off-before-I-lose-my-mind issues.  In short, we just had a whole passle of ish-uhs.
 

And what is it about lack of sleep that just turns me into one big ball of UGLINESS ... I guess the truth is that the ugliness is always there, its just that I have, by the grace of God, more self-control when I'm rested and can keep the ugliness at bay.

But Saturday, sweet Saturday ... Benjamin slept till 5:15 ... and trust me, that was something to get excited about.  Then Will got up with him and I was able to sleep till 7:30!  Oh sleep, how I had missed thee!

And then, if that wasn't enough, I awoke to the smell of breakfast cooking!

And then, if that wasn't enough, we all went to the farmers' market together!

And then, if that wasn't enough, Will and I went on a date Saturday night!  (a friend came over after Benjamin went to bed and had the toughest babysitting job ever ... "Call us if he starts screaming."  Thankfully, he slept peacefully ... till 4 am, but we won't go there).  We ate at Panera Bread and enjoyed sharing a meal that didn't have to be interrupted by "We don't throw our food on the floor" or stanzas of "Twinkle Twinkle on my Toes" (A Trautman original).  Then we did a little low-key shopping and ended the evening browsing at Barnes and Noble.  ahhhhhh.

So, Saturday, after a really long week, was a sweet, sweet day.

And today Benjamin was anxious to show off what he's been working on ...

Wedded Bliss

(Note:  This post was written on Monday, but it was a typical Monday, and I didn't get a chance to click "publish" till today... sorry for the delay) 

On Saturday, Benjamin attended his very first wedding!  And what a wedding it was ... one of the most joyful events we've ever attended.  Everyone present was grinning from ear to ear.  The bride and groom seemed about to burst with excitement.  God was greatly honored in that place, and we were so blessed to be there.

Benjamin did great, too!  Just played quietly on the floor during the ceremony.  During the reception, he was reaching his limit for crowds - sweet little introvert that he is - and so we had to take a "people break."  I took him to a side room, fed him a jar of his happy-food (sweet potatoes), and just played for a little while (read: unpacked the diaper bag while he investigated everything).

While definitely not the most flattering picture of him ever, it really captures the poor Little Man's heart at the moment ... Can we go home yet?  I just want to be home and play on my rug!

He did perk back up after a little bit (nothing like a boost for the blood sugar and getting to take off that oh-so-cute, but fussy, dress shirt) and we were able to enjoy the rest of the reception.

Adding to the fun of the wedding was that I got to bake cupcakes for the reception!  The more I cook and bake lately, the more I love it, so I was excited for the excuse to go all-out on some awesome recipes!

Before (Friday Morning)

After (Saturday afternoon)

So, I'm definitely not a professional at piping the icing, but otherwise, I thought they turned out pretty well.  (The recipe for Martha Stewart's buttercream frosting is here... and I didn't have to make as much of it as I thought I would for 3 dozen cupcakes, so I didn't quite use all the butter and eggs that are pictured in the "before" shot ... doesn't that make you feel better? :)

And now we're back to Monday - rainy, chilly, and Little Man's poor teeth are hurting him.  Ah well, I guess this is the rightful -and even glorious- continuation of "wedded bliss" - the joy of having a partner through life's bright, mundane, exciting, rainy, springtime, wintertime, laughing and teething days.

So, thank you Will for choosing me as your life's partner.  There's no one I'd rather share these (or any other) days with.

Saturdays are for running around

We had quite the busy Saturday around here.  We all got up bright and early ... Benjamin and I enjoyed the early morning (relative) calm at the farmers market and Will went on a bike ride with some friends from church.  We all met back at home for brunch - blueberry muffins with fresh-from-the-market berries - yum!

Our big adventure for the day was Benjamin's first swim!  The weather was cooler and cloudier than it was forecasted to be, so the water was freezing!  But sweet Daddy braved it and let Benjamin kick his feet in it for a little while.  The main idea, really, was to sport our super cool swimming outfit...

I'm lookin' good!

I can surf, Mom, really, I know I can!

Yahoo!  Let's do this thing!

Ok, its a little cold, but I can take it!

After swimming, we came home, got washed, dressed, and headed out for Date Night!  Sweet friends offered to let the Little Man snooze at their house while Mommy and Daddy enjoyed our first evening out since he was born...

Seriously?!?!  You guys are getting dressed up and going to have fun and you're leaving me here in my dinosaur jammies?!?!  Can't the Little Guy catch a break?

Eighth Wonder of the World

I know that all mothers think their child is the cutest, smartest, best baby in the whole world.  However, I really think I may have given birth to the Eighth Wonder of the World.  Not only can Benjamin now wave hello and give high-fives, amongst other darling talents - like laughing after he burps ... I think I may have inadvertently taught him that, but that's a story for another day - but let me tell you what happened at Walmart last week...

It was my coupon day - ya know, you gather coupons, compile a list, then painstakingly walking through the store, comparison shopping price per ounce, 100-count and so on.  It took almost 2 hours and by the time we left I felt like my eyes were going to pop out of my head.  But I did save over $27 with coupons!  woot!

Also, interestingly enough, I left with enough hair care products and chocolate to last any sane person an entire year ... I started to take a picture of all the compiled chocolate, but it was just too embarrassing.

But I digress.  Back to the Eighth Wonder of the World.

Throughout our two-hour trek through Walmart, sweet Benjamin jabbered and giggled and kicked his feet and chewed on his toes and waved and high-fived ... the whole time, I'm telling you!  It was amazing!  It was so cute, I would conservatively estimate that 60% of the people we passed paused to look at, talk to, chuckle at, tickle, or otherwise interact with him.  That's part of why it took so long - we had to pause for our public.  

In fact, we caused two separate cart collisions when people who were distracted by his cuteness ran into other people's carts.

I'm not even kidding about that.

And so, I ask you, could it possibly get any cuter than this?

If he gets any cuter, I really think I'm going to explode.

In which I rediscover the glories of caffination in boosting productivity

Before I was a Mommy, I was a Professional.  I wore eyeliner.  And heels.  And the occasional string of pearls when I needed to appear older and more experienced than I actually was.  And I drank A LOT of coffee.  I started at home before I left for work, continued as I checked my overloaded email inbox, faced the unavoidable afternoon slump, and sat through long, boring  interesting and always relevant meetings.  In fact, there was a time that I thought, "How will I ever be able to be pregnant and not drink coffee?"  Then, lo and behold, doctors started advising that one cup of caffeinated coffee per day was allowable during pregnancy!  Thank you, Lord!  So. We got pregnant.  (Just kidding - we didn't get pregnant just because I found out I could still drink coffee.)

I promise.

Anyway, I continued to drink one cup of coffee every morning until the eighth month of pregnancy when I began to think about the ramifications of caffeine on nursing and realized that I had better just go ahead and give it up, so I switched to decaf.  And really, lets be honest, one measly cup of coffee is no match for fatigue like a freight train during that last trimester anyway.

And so, I have not had caffeine in any measurable amount for an entire year.

And then on Monday ... well, I was feeling groggy ... fatigued ... downright sleepy, as I suppose many of us do on Monday mornings.  And Monday at Casa de Trautman is Laundry Day, and to be honest, I just didn't think I could face it.  Enter the little bit of half-caff coffee grounds lurking in the back of my pantry.  The little Caffeine Angel (or is it a Devil?) started whispering, "Oh, it's just half-caff.  It probably won't even make a difference.  Little Man won't need to nurse for another four hours, so it will be completely out of your system by then anyway.  How are you going to fulfill your wifely duties if you can't stay awake?  Jesus would want you to serve your family!  I can help you with that!"

And so, I made a cup.

And let me TELL you ... I didn't stop moving for another six hours.  I washed, dried, folded and put away three loads of laundry.  I cleaned out and organized Benjamin's closet.  I washed a huge pile of dishes.  I made blueberry muffins for breakfast. I made two batches of baby food.  I did a whole bunch of other stuff that I can't even remember because tasks were getting checked off my list so fast it was just one big blur.

I kid you not.

And then, after dinner, it hit me.  The post-caffeine-high-mack-truck-of-worn-out that i didn't even see coming.  Tuesday morning was painful.  And no caffeine to be had anywhere in the house.  "It's okay," I thought, "I'll be fine. I've done without it for a year."  And then Wednesday morning, more painful still.

And so, yes, that was me leaving our local buy-in-bulk-cuz-its-cheaper-even-though-you-have-nowhere-to-store-it place with a three pound bag of coffee this afternoon.

Hello again, caffeine!  I've missed you!

Change of Scenery

This afternoon, we decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather, our new backyard, and the beach-ball Benjamin got at this last Kindermusik class. We just needed a little change of scenery during that weird hour before dinner.

It was a gorgeous afternoon!

And I got to enjoy my morning-nap handiwork ... there were plenty of more urgent things to do than give myself a pedicure, but  a girl's gotta pamper herself sometime, right?

Benjamin even got to play with Mommy's sunglasses ... and then, the very best-est thing happened...

Daddy got home!!!

A Tough Day

So, yesterday was a pretty tough day.  It was Kindermusik day, which is fun, but makes the day busy since we have to drive about 30 minutes to get there.  I woke up with some kindof nasty summer cold - sore throat, stuffy nose, etc.  Then there was a flat tire on Will's car that had to be dealt with (we sure do love AAA).  Thankfully, even though Benjamin's morning nap was thrown off by the flat tire, he had a great time at Kindermusik - laughing at songs and toys and bubbles, and generally being the completely charming little man that he is.

After getting home, I began to realize what a state my house was in - all imaginable counter space covered with dirty dishes, and so much laundry to be done that we didn't have a single clean bib in the house.

Necessity is the mother of invention?

Anyway, to add to an already long day, Benjamin had an allergic reaction to the raspberries in the baby food he had for lunch.  Poor thing broke out in hives all over his neck and face!  After a semi-panicked call to the pediatrician and a dose of Benadryl, both of us needed some "un-plugged" time, but I had to keep him awake to monitor his symptoms.  So, we put in a little baby video and vegged on the floor for a while.   Thankfully, the Benadryl did its thing, the hives subsided, and no other symptoms presented.

I can't decide if my severe allergy issues are going to make me a better, more equipped and relaxed mom when it comes to allergies, or if I'll be just that much more neurotic about it.  On one hand, I'm familiar with symptoms, prevention, treatments, and etc.  Its not like the whole allergic thing is new to me and that level of being equipped makes me feel better.  On the other hand, I know first hand the symptoms, how serious they can be, and how miserable it is to have your body launch itself into complete rebellion over something otherwise harmless.

Anyway, I spent the rest of the afternoon sipping hot tea and trying to find the Claritin pill that I had gotten out of the package, couldn't remember ever taking, but couldn't find anywhere either.

When poor Will got home, he entered a state of domestic destruction I wouldn't wish on any human being ... mountains of dirty dishes about to collapse in the kitchen, used Kleenexes all over the couch, our bedroom floor covered with piles of laundry ... you get the picture.  But sweet man that he is spent the evening washing dishes, fetching laundry and what not, and by the time we went to bed, our house and my soul were much more in order.

So I'll end this recounting of the day's events with a verse I read yesterday morning and that the Holy Spirit brought to my mind throughout the day ...

"For You bless the righteous, O Lord, Your cover them with favor as with a shield" Ps. 5:12

Thank you Lord...
- the flat tire happened at home and not somewhere along the road
- AAA was able to come quickly for a tow
- the tire was still covered under warranty and therefore was replaced at a fraction of the cost
- for Claritin and Benadryl
- Benjamin's reaction was minor in comparison to what it could have been (read: I didn't have to call 911 as the nurse at the doctor's office advised me to if he started wheezing)
- the pediatrician's office is available, understanding, prompt, and thorough
- for a husband who lives out selfess, sacrificial love
- Benjamin was able to sleep well last night
- for comfort from your Word!

Life Lately, Part 2

Remember last night when I was mentioning the mischievousness that is surely coming?  My suspicion stems from moments like this ...

This is the "figuring it out face" and whatever new thing Little Bit sees has GOT to be figured out - camera, Scrabble tiles, earrings, Daddy's security card for work, Mommy's cell phone, etc.  The funny thing is, Daddy's "figuring it out face" involves a strikingly similar crinkling of the brow.

On an unrelated note, I think I'm going to have to face the music and admit that my child does not like green beans.  I was in denial for quite some time - "He just doesn't care for the texture"  "He fussed because I was singing off key" - but I can't run from the truth any longer.  He thinks they're nasty and that my feeding them to him is some kind of cruel joke.  Oh well, we'll have to find another green vegetable for him to eat I suppose.

And on my last unrelated note, I've finally updated the Book Nook sidebar.  I hadn't stopped reading for the past two months, just got too busy to upload new cover images.  I've enjoyed some Agatha Christy, some Mindy Starns Clark, and an excellent read in Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas. 

You'll notice that its time again for "Summers with Dickens" a tradition I started back in college of reading ... wait for it ... Dickens in the summer.  There's something about the long evenings of summertime that just beg for a long classic with rich characters who feel like your friends by the time the days start getting shorter again.  One year, I tried to branch out with Tolstoy's Anna Karenina, but, well, lets just say that I like happy endings and poor Anna doesn't end very well.  But I digress. This year's "Summers with Dickens" pick is Great Expectations.  I know I've read it one other summer, but its been long enough for me to forget that Pip is called such because his name is Phillip Pirrip (poor kid!) but all he could say as a toddler was "Pip" and other such endearing details.

So, I think I'll curl up with a book for a few minutes while Benjamin finishes his nap.  What are you reading this summer?

Life Lately

So, it's 10:30 at night and the last two evenings have been filled with series finales ... first Lost, then 24, which means I only have brain power left for a list...

- It's finally getting warm here.  I wore flip-flops this weekend for the first time since the end of last summer, and may I just say that flip flops are much more comfortable when you're not pregnant.  To New Yorkers, it seems that temperatures in the mid-80's are absolutely scorching, but this Southern girl is just now thawing out!

- Benjamin is trying his hardest to learn to crawl ... poor thing gets so frustrated when he can't quite get his arms and legs to coordinate with each other.  I know he'll get it any day, increasing exponentially the amount of mischief he can get into at any given moment.  While still being relatively immobile, in the last two days he has managed to ... 1. get ahold of my cell phone and slobber all over it before I noticed  2. pulled an untold number of earrings out of my ears  3. knock my little plastic Lords Supper cup on the floor during church (thankfully it was empty but it still made that uncannily loud plastic bouncing noise when it hit the floor) 4. learned to splash water all over my kitchen during his bath.  As much work as it will be though, I'm really looking forward to the adventurous, mischievous Benjamin who will surely emerge in the next few months (and years) (and please feel free to remind me I said that)

- As previously mentioned, we've been engrossed in the series finales of Lost and 24 the last couple of days.  As much as its hard to believe that these story lines are really over for good (after all, we already know they're making a 24 movie), we're really glad in a way to say goodbye to these shows that have been with us for the past few years.  It seems like we can move on now, to more important and exciting things, like ... playing Scrabble.  Anyway, the finales were both mildly dissatisfying which led Will and I to discuss something dear ole Clive Staples and J.R.R. would have heartily amen-ed ... the way in which the more a story reflects the realities of the Gospel, the more it will resonate with us, whether we realize what's going on or not.  The less a story reflects those realities, the more we leave it with a sense of dissonance or emptiness, even if we don't know why...  For truly, the Gospel is the only TRUE story.

Amen.  With that admittedly incomplete and ill-developed thought line, I'm going to bed.  Will is already there and I hate it when he's asleep before I am.  So, on the topic of enjoying a good story, I leave you with this and I'll continue my list of "Life Lately" tomorrow.

Yes, Will was really reading (Dostoevsky I believe) and Benjamin was really sitting there beside Daddy happily chewing on his plastic book

Sabbatical

For the last two weeks, Benjamin and I have intentionally taken a break from all things crazy or exciting. There was that one week where everything that could be possibility be exciting all happened in one week - found a new place to rent, found someone to rent our house, farmers market, parties, new vacuum (sweet gift from dear mom), new bread machine (yay for Craigs List), and even a new Kitchen Aid stand mixer (we really love Craigs List). And I was running and going and doing all week long and after that week was over, I knew I had gone 'round the bend ... it was tooooooooo much. What was I thinking???

So, for the last two weeks, Little Bit and I have been on sabbatical. Sure, we've gone to grocery store, or the library, or the post office. But mostly we've stayed at home ... we've had consistent naps (and I do mean we). We've done laundry, we've read our favorite books, and Mommy has gotten a chance to finally use her new stuff - woo-hoo!

We've enjoyed playing in the bathwater, instead of Mommy whisking poor thing out as soon as could be...

(Please excuse the dirty dishes in the background of this picture ... I'm on sabbatical - haha)

And it has reminded me again that my primary role is that of wife and mommy ... yes, I can be lots of other things - friend, volunteer, avid goer-to-the-park, reader, blogger, etc. - but if those things start to take away from my primary calling, I have to "just say no."

And I was encouraged in this train of thought by this post and the example of Nehemiah's doing a "great work." For, truly, this raising of a child is a Great Work, entrusted to me by God, and all the diaper changes, feedings, readings of "B is for Bear," and the other daily minutiae are adding up to something truly monumental.

So, today, "I am doing a great work and I cannot come down."

Mothers Day

Happy Mothers Day! What a truly wonderful day it was - I felt truly cherished and I'm still basking in the glow of it (as well as basking in the glow of my gorgeous red gerber daisies!)

But first, I must say "Happy Mothers Day" to my mom ... I don't think you can adequately appreciate what is required of a mother until you are one... on-call 24-7, with no sick days, no vacation, no i'm-just-too-tired-why-don't-you-change-your-own-diaper days.

So, thanks to my mom, who was the first to nurture and cherish me, as a wee babe in her womb ... and now continues to nurture and cherish me through prayer, encouragement, listening to me ramble on when I just need someone to talk to, helping us move, and making us food ... wait, what was that last thing? sorry, I would never ask my mom to make Chicken Sauterne just cuz I'm coming to town ... ahem ...

Anyway, I had a wonderful first Mothers Day as a mom ... first, we woke up to snow ... then flowers, a sweet card from Daddy and Little Bit, steak for lunch and shrimp for dinner, and finished the day with "Josie Comes Home" with the Duggars from 19 Kids & Counting ... i love that family! I was planning to take some good pictures of me and Benjamin in our nice nice clothes for Mothers Day, but before we had a chance to do that, his clothes got dirty (in the diaper kind of way :) and I got all rumpled and flat-haired... ah, motherhood :)

In contemplation of motherhood, all its joys and responsibilities, I was especially challenged by this post I read today on "joyful mothering" ... I'm going to post these ten points above the kitchen sink ... or the changing table :)

Avacado

Emboldened by our experience with sweet potatoes, this morning we forged deeper into the Land of Solid Foods with avacado ... it wasn't such a big hit - just watch and see...

(Caution: should be viewed only by the the brave and strong-stomached as it involves lots of oozing green goo)

Notice two things ... 1. I am trying very hard to follow the advice I've read in books to "stay positive and upbeat no matter what happens" I didn't realize how much easier that is said than done when your baby is spitting green ooze at you 2. The look on his face between bites cracks me up. I didn't notice it so much at the time, but watching this video make me laugh so much. "Really Mom? I have to eat more of that stuff???"

Update: We tried avacados again at dinner, and I'm happy to report it went much better - hardly any oozing or gagging!

Another Weekend of Firsts

We managed to eek out quite a fun weekend here in New York State, despite the damp, chilly weather.

On Saturday, Benjamin went to his very first birthday party!  Our friends' daughter was turning 1, so we got to share in the festivities!  It's hard to believe that our Little Bit is halfway to that milestone himself ... nope, I can't think about that right now.

Then on Sunday, Daddy and Benjamin grilled out together for the first time!  I had picked up the ingredients for chicken kabobs earlier in the week when it was warm and pretty - silly me, didn't see the 40-degree temperatures coming the forecast.  Thankfully, Sunday afternoon the sun came out for a little while, so Daddy drug out the grill!

Just for the record, Benjamin was wrapped up in a blanket immediately before and after this picture, but Daddy insisted that a man's first grilling picture should not have to be of him wrapped up in his blankie! :)  But Mommy insisted on keeping the bear-hat on, because after all, it was chilly!

Tennessee Recap

I've come to the conclusion that there is no way I can sum up our trip to Tennessee last week. It was so full of love, tears, friends, family, memories (both remembered and made) and we are still exhausted! It was profoundly refreshing to be in a familiar place, surrounded by familiar faces. It was bittersweet, knowing that we would have to leave so quickly, and this week I have grieved last year's losses all over again.

Oh, and we managed to eat at Chick-fil-A a total of four times throughout the week ... or was it five? :)

At our favorite Jackson Chick-a-la - it was a little windy! :)

Benjamin was again an awesome traveler, making it way easier on Mom and Dad than we deserved. He was, however, a little road-weary by Easter Sunday morning, resulting in expressions like this...

...for our pictures in our cute outfits. In spite of the exhaustion, he did manage a smile or two...

Precious little thing! Anyway, all I can say is ... sweet sweet times! Here are some of our favorite pictures from the week...

Soakin' up some Grandpa love!

Nuthin' like gettin' kissed 24/7!

Benjamin even made a new friend or two! Sweet little drooly boys!

Benjamin's first visit to my parents' house held several surreal "full-circle" moments... like walking in the park with him in the stroller ... the same park I played at when I was a little kid...

Just chill-axin' in Grandma's sink, Mom! What's the camera for?

Aw, man! Just because we're back in NY, I have to be all wrapped up in blankets again?!?!

So this week we are slowly getting adjusted to being back home ... wearing sweaters, restocking the pantry, talking on skype and via email instead of in person. And I'm so grateful that, even here and now ...

"You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways...
You hem me in behind and before, and lay Your hand upon me...
Even there Your hand shall lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me...
In Your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them"
Ps. 139:3,5,10,16

The First Bite

Well, we are home from our whirlwind week in Tennessee. We had an amazing time, so full of sweet family, friends, and memories. I'm still processing all that went on (and still working on getting all the pictures off my camera :) So instead, here's this little tidbit from Sunday...

Benjamin is now officially six months old! My word, how time flies! Anyway, its high time that the boy had some solid food, don't you think? So we decided Sunday was the big day. In hindsight, this was probably not a wise choice, as I was exhausted from our travels and Benjamin wasn't in that great of a mood either.



Note the growing look of concern on his face ... "What in the world are you doing, Momma?!?! It isn't enough that you've drug me all over God's green earth, and let a million strangers hold me, talk to me, and pronounce that I am so sweet, they could 'just eat me up with a spoon!' And now you're trying to feed me with a spoon?!? I have had it! I need a nap!"

So, since the initial feeding of cereal failed in every sense (except the fact that we got hilarious video of it), we tried just giving him the spoon to play with, thinking a little familiarity with this new utensil might be helpful...



Note that every other thing he gets his hands on goes straight for his mouth, but nuthin' doin' with this spoon nonsense!

So today we took a break from cereal, but we'll try again tomorrow ... he's got to get the hang of it at some point, right?

(Disclaimer: After watching these videos again, I realize that they are probably only hilarious and adorable to Daddy and me ... and grandparents. :) oh well!

The Mom Stamp

Where's the Adult Stamp?

This is one of my family's favorite sayings, coined by dear Dad when I was in college.  As memory serves, I was home for a summer or winter break, and when reflecting at family dinner on how much better I had been feeling of late, I made the comment that getting adequate sleep really does make a difference in how one feels the next day. Dad replied to my revelation with his now-famous quip, "Where's the Adult Stamp?"

(An aside: the fact that I used to willingly, even carelessly, deprive myself of sleep is a fact that grieves me now that motherhood requires that deprivation of me regularly.)

Anyway, lately, I've been wondering, "Where's the Mom Stamp?"

I've caught myself recently conversing freely about my baby's bodily functions in public scenarios in which such topics are clearly taboo.  When noting the tentative expression on the other person's face, I pause only briefly before plunging on with the tale, figuring 1) if they're not a parent yet, they need to prepared 2) if they are a parent, this is not surprising them 3) I have little else to talk about  ... Where's the Mom Stamp?

Since I now have Little Bit hanging out with me all day, I often narrate my daily tasks to him as we go ... Mommy's washing the yucky lasagna pan, scrape, scrape, scrape that dried gunk off!  Mommy's folding the laundry!  Who's tiny shirt is this? ... and so on and so on as we keep the house (moderately) clean and orderly.  So, the other day, I cracked myself up when, with Benjamin downstairs hanging out with Daddy, I said out loud, "Putting away Daddy's sockies!" while completely alone upstairs!  Where's the Mom Stamp?

In getting read to go to a friend's house for dinner and a movie last weekend, I started "packing" three whole hours before our intended departure time.  When we finally arrived, we had the three of us, plus about fifty pounds of assorted baby paraphernalia that took several trips back and forth to the car getting it all in their house.  All this and we weren't even spending the night or anything!!  Where's the Mom Stamp?

And with that, we'll say Happy Weekend, everybody!  Hope your weather is lovely, wherever you are!

A New Song

This week's work on sleeping routines has necessitated the choosing of the song ... you know, the song that you sing a bedtime to signal sweet baby that it's time to go to sleep. I have put off this decisions for almost five months, because the miracle blanket and the pacifier worked just fine.

But without those cues, it's now time to pick the song. Golly, that's a lot of pressure... one song to sing at every naptime and bedtime, one song to associate with rest and peace for the foreseeable future ... how am I supposed to pick? oh, the responsibility ... sheesh!

Since Benjamin was born, I have primarily sung two songs to him... "I Am," by Jill Phillips (you can listen here) and "How He Loves Us," David Crowder Band (you can listen here). Then of course, there's our Celine repertoire and the Christmas songs during December ... and January. And the always popular "Wheels on the Bus" to which we now sing 14 verses ... I'm not exaggerating, I counted them - doors, wipers, horn, blinkers, engine, we even have Tennesseans and Jack Bauer on our bus. This is primarily for momma's entertainment; I'm fully aware that Benjamin has no idea what I'm talking about.

Anyway, all that to say, we had to pick a song. And after much internal deliberation (I know, I know, I am way over-thinking this), we've gone with the classic "Jesus Loves Me." The thing is, as I've sung it to Benjamin this week over his screaming, I have been struck all over again by the profound truths ...

Jesus loves me ... just sit and think about that for a minute. The God of the universe came to earth in human form to redeem me from my sin because He loves me ... me, this little speck of nothing yet so consumed with my own importance so much of the time. Jesus loves me, even in my unloveliness, He loves me! And this overwhelming love I feel for my son is just a taste of what love is like!

For the Bible tells me so - I'm not assured of His love by my fickle emotions or by life's changing circumstances. I can cling to His eternal Word.

Little ones to Him belong, We are weak but He is strong - Yes, I sing "we are weak." A good reminder to me that in this whole journey of life, and especially right now, of parenting, I must walk in His strength.

Yes, Jesus loves me! Yes, Jesus loves me! Yes, Jesus loves me! The Bible tells me so!

Eyes of Compassion

I've heard that being a parent brings a lot of fresh insight into God's heart for us, His children. I've been hesitant to do too much extrapolation at this point in my parenting experience, because I know how much of a sinner I am and how much I don't have a clue what I'm doing.

But let me back up ... This week, Benjamin is learning to sleep without his pacifier. That blessed little chunk of green plastic worked like a charm for two months or so, but he is now aware of know when it falls out of his mouth, and since I can't go give it back to him every 30 minutes throughout the night, it was time for him to learn to do without it. So far, it's been going decently well - he's such a sweet, good-natured guy. But it is a tough thing to learn for a little person, and it's so hard to watch (or listen to on the monitor) him struggling to learn to go to sleep (read: screaming his lungs out for 10 minutes).

Last night, as he particularly struggled, I just hurt for him. I know that this is best for him, that he's learning needful skills, that this is going to make life better not worse, that this is not going to permanently damage him but instead make him stronger ... but he doesn't know that. And I just hurt for him.

And then I thought about the struggles and hardships in my life that I don't understand ... and I know God has a plan for my holiness, not my happiness. But last night, I got a glimpse of God's heart for his crying children. Even when He is asking us to walk through trials, He looks at us with eyes of compassion. He is not hardened to our cries, indifferent to our pleas, or frustrated at our helplessness. He loves us, as the perfect Heavenly Father.

I know that sounds basic, but it has been so comforting to me today.

And Benjamin woke up happy as a lark this morning, though in a slightly different position than we put him to bed.

Weary

Today, I am feeling weary ... probably because Benjamin kept me up for several hours last night. But, hey, that's what babies are supposed to do, right? And he's such a good sleeper that when he occasionally has a bad night, I can hardly blame him. And, as you can see, he was none the worse for wear this morning.

However, be that as it may, today I am feeling weary. My to-do list is calling, but I am grossly unmotivated to tackle it. I remember hearing once, in a book or at a Bible study or something, that the work of a wife and mother is "done in order to undone" or something like that... you wash the clothes so they can get worn, and therefore, dirty again. Same with the dishes, the floors, the toilets. You go grocery shopping to get food, so it can be eaten, so you have to go to the grocery store again.

I don't think I realized how much this was true when I was a full-time professional and only part-time wife... I just realized how bad it sounds to say "part-time wife" but you know what I mean. And truthfully, Will usually got only the leftovers of my time and energy, so it's fitting. Anyway, in that former life, I only did laundry the day after we were forced to wear socks from the dirty clothes basket and only went to the grocery store when the refrigerator only held moldy cheese and an old jar of mustard.

And now, though I am profoundly enjoying my role as a full-time wife and mom, I am realizing that each week, my to-do list is almost exactly the same ... wash clothes, get groceries, ironing, cooking, dishes, etc. Today, as I folded clothes, I kept thinking, "Didn't I just fold this the other day?" And I'm just weary.

But a dear friend reminded me of Galatians 6:9 recently...

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

So, today, I'm folding clothes and washing dishes while envisioning fields of clean clothes and neatly stacked dishes just awaiting me to pluck them whenever needed :)

Seriously, though, this afternoon, I sat down with the Word, knowing there is my only source of refreshment, and picked up where I had left off previously in Revelation 21...

"And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away... And the street of the city was pure gold, transparent as glass ... and the city has no need of sun or moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and its lamp is the Lamb."

Amen.

Crave

(these pictures really have nothing to do with this post, but aren't they just too stinkin' precious?!?!)

............................

1 Peter 2:2

And yearn like newborn infants for pure, spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up to salvation (NET)
Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation (NIV)
Like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the Word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation (NASB)
You must crave pure spiritual milk so that you can grow into the fullness of your salvation. Cry out for this nourishment as a baby cries for milk (NLT)

I've always heard that you really don't know the meaning of this verse till you live with an infant - and it has surely been true for me. There is no desperation like that of a hungry baby.

Benjamin's normal morning routine is to wake up somewhere around 7:00. He definitely wakes up hungry, but until he sees Mom or Dad, he's happy to lay in his crib, playing with his hands or talking to himself for 15 minutes or so. One morning this week, he had been doing just that when Will went in to say good-morning before he left for work. Then I came in and sat down in the rocker to feed him ... it was then that we realized that his diaper had leaked out through his jammies and we were going to need to change his diaper and his clothes before we went on with breakfast. So I got up from the chair, put him down on the changing table, and proceeded to take off the dirty pajamas and change his diaper. As soon as he realized what was happening, Benjamin's face just crumpled and he let out the most pitiful little squeal of a cry you've ever heard. This cry wasn't just that he was hungry, wasn't just that he was mad, it was a cry of ... heartbroken desperation.

"Mom! I'm so hungry, and you were all ready to feed me, but now we're doing this?"

It was so pitiful it brought tears to my eyes! I changed his diaper as quickly as I could, then just threw a blanket over him to keep him warm and sat down to feed him ... forget new jammies! we can get those later! this poor child is desperate!

And then, as happens many times when I hear Benjamin cry to be fed, the Holy Spirit reminded me of this verse ... crave the pure milk of the Word! How I need this attitude of utter desperation for the Word - it is my only source of true spiritual refreshment and growth.

May God give us hearts that crave to meet Him in His Word!